Saturday, May 17, 2008
Stay true to the way I feel
I don't know what to put in this space anymore.
I'm not sure why, but I'm just filtering a lot of thoughts here in my blog. Maybe cause I don't know how to express my self in a clear way. I'm not sure why that's the case. It's one thing thinking about stuff to write, but it's another thing putting it down on paper.
Maybe I'm taking too much thought into this, maybe I"m suppose to just type away with out thinking about the consequences. It's funny how things changed so much in half a year. I've have been genuine happy for a while, yet at the same time, I've been very unhappy at the same exact moment. It's like two side of me is tugging at me and fighting for control of how I should feel and act on a certain day, heck even certain time during the day. Maybe people I met recently think that I'm a happy guy, but in reality, that's so far away from the truth. far far away.
It's easy to identify the facts, but it's hard to deal with the reality of it. Doing this divorce paper thing is really messing with me right now. I know that I should just man up and fix the problems at hand and get it over with, but at the same time, I don't want to. I'm lagging it on purpose. I've should have filed it again this past couple of days, but there is always something that came up that distract me from doing it. The truth is, I let it affect me cause anything right now it's better then doing what I'm suppose to do. That's the truth.
There I said it. =)
I'm not sure why, but I'm just filtering a lot of thoughts here in my blog. Maybe cause I don't know how to express my self in a clear way. I'm not sure why that's the case. It's one thing thinking about stuff to write, but it's another thing putting it down on paper.
Maybe I'm taking too much thought into this, maybe I"m suppose to just type away with out thinking about the consequences. It's funny how things changed so much in half a year. I've have been genuine happy for a while, yet at the same time, I've been very unhappy at the same exact moment. It's like two side of me is tugging at me and fighting for control of how I should feel and act on a certain day, heck even certain time during the day. Maybe people I met recently think that I'm a happy guy, but in reality, that's so far away from the truth. far far away.
It's easy to identify the facts, but it's hard to deal with the reality of it. Doing this divorce paper thing is really messing with me right now. I know that I should just man up and fix the problems at hand and get it over with, but at the same time, I don't want to. I'm lagging it on purpose. I've should have filed it again this past couple of days, but there is always something that came up that distract me from doing it. The truth is, I let it affect me cause anything right now it's better then doing what I'm suppose to do. That's the truth.
There I said it. =)
# posted by Will Chang @ 1:24 AM 
